I feel like I’ve gotten to this really sweet spot. Life is pretty good right now. It’s not perfect. I still have struggles. But I’m really enjoying myself and feeling good overall.
The world is in chaos around me. But I feel like I know this secret. I have a purpose that goes beyond this lifetime. I’m focusing my energy on things that will future God’s kingdom. And that gives me an energy and peace.
I know that I could let my anxiety and fear overwhelm me. Life is uncertain and scary. But I know that even if it is the end of the world, I will be okay. I know Jesus.
I’m learning to channel my nervous energy into my prayers and exercise.
Instead of complaining about my church I try to go more often than just on Sundays. I recently went to Eucharistic Adoration for the first time. It was beautiful. Not because I felt something special or had a revelation. It was special because one of my daughters opened up her heart and prayed out loud. Her prayers were such a blessing to hear. It was beautiful to know that she also loves Jesus.
As the end of the year draws near, I reflect over what has happened. I see people online complaining about 2020. They make jokes about what catastrophe is going to happen next.
But all I can do is look back and see the good that has happened in my life. God has drawn me back to Him. I have finally found that prayer life that I was searching for most of my life. I actually WANT to pray. When a day goes by without much prayer I miss it.
I see how God has blessed my family with good health. I haven’t been sick for months. (until just now as I’m writing this)
I see how God is using this year to teach me that it is okay to not know and to take each day as it comes. I am learning that uncertainty is not as frightening, when you know that in the end God wins.
I have found some encouraging people online. People who have been called fanatics and nuts. Those are my kind of people. I need to know that I’m not the only crazy person. I need to know that I’m not the only extremist.
I’m finding that instead of wishing the time away, I am wishing for it to slow down. I find that I have prioritize and choose to let some things go just because there is not enough time for everything. I’m learning that sometimes it is enough to eat, pray, exercise and get nothing else done in a day.
Prayer is important. It is spending time with your best friend, Creator, Father, Savior, etc. Prayer is calming. Prayer is healing. Prayer is fighting in the spiritual realms.
I’m thankful for the hardships this year because they have pushed me to change my life. I’m thankful for the struggles because it has forced me to rely on God instead of my own strength.
I’m even excited about being a little under the weather today because it forces me to stop and stay home. I get a little break from the busyness of life.
I hope and pray that you find peace and contentment in life. Use your discontentment to change your circumstances and move forward. Then bask in the presence of Jesus, because that is where you will find peace.
onetuffmama 