I’ve always had a healthy body image. Somewhere in my early teens I actually began to like my body 100%. I felt completely comfortable with my body and how it looked and felt to me. As I got older I realized that most people are not like me. I never felt the need to change how I looked by dying my hair or wearing makeup. Most of the time I dress in comfortable casual clothes. I give more thought to what I like to wear than to what other people think. When I became pregnant I loved the new changes in my body. I grew more curves, gained a healthy amount of weight, and felt marvelous. After I gave birth the first time my body went back to how it was before in just a few months. I remember looking at my daughter and thinking how interesting it was that there was no indication that I had birthed her except for the fact that I was breastfeeding. I weighed less than when I had become pregnant and the only thing different was my bra size.
But recently I have been feeling uncomfortable in my body. I’m having a hard time accepting the changes that have happened. I don’t mind the purple scar just below my panty line much. But I do mind that my stomach hangs over that scar. I used to have a flat tummy and now I have a flabby one. I can also feel the soreness inside. I’m still numb in spots too. I’ve been wishing I could find out how to become accepting of the new me. Last night I began thinking about it. Maybe I’m not supposed to be 100% in love with who I am. Maybe I don’t need to accept my body. For the first time in my life I was looking forward to my resurrection body. The body that I will have in heaven someday. The body that will be mine for eternity. I don’t want to become too attached to this body that will age and decay.