My water broke early Monday morning. I was so excited that it was finally time to meet our baby. I knew from last time that labor can last for more than a day so I was prepared to have a longer labor. I was surprised when labor picked up and we were calling for the midwife to come before it was even noon. Labor progressed much faster than it had with Toddler Girl. I went from having contractions to all of a sudden pushing. The next few hours were spent pushing. I pushed in several different positions, moving around the house. I pushed and pushed thinking how hard it was. I didn’t remember it being that hard the first time. I felt like the progress was really slow. But I was mentally prepared to push for a long time because the baby was facing sunny side up. I felt myself get more and more tired. My midwife, doula, mother and husband were all encouraging me. My midwife and doula were coaching me to push harder with everything I had. It was so hard but with their help I was able to keep on working even harder.
I was worried during the pushing stage. The baby seemed distant. I couldn’t feel anything except my contractions, the urge to push and my body’s tiredness/soreness. Mentally, I was afraid for the baby even though there was no reason to be. The baby had a strong and steady heartbeat. But it was exactly 40 weeks to the day that I had miscarried my last baby. Part of me was afraid that I would deliver a dead baby and all my work would be for nothing. I didn’t say this at the time. Frankly, I was too tired to do much talking. I also knew that I had to conserve all my energy.
Well, we finally got to a point where my midwife said I needed to push extra hard. We needed to see some progression. So I pushed extra hard and my midwife pushed hard against my pelvic bones to help them allow the baby to pass. We both pushed and pushed for several more contractions. Then my midwife said that we would try a few more. When there was no progression we decided to go to the hospital. I was thinking that I was giving up by going to the hospital. My mother assured me that going to the hospital wouldn’t be giving up. I knew that I would end up with a c-section. The thought of major surgery scared me but this labor was scaring me. I had had enough and just wanted it to be over. I wanted my baby safe in my arms. So we left for the hospital.
To be continued…